Friday, February 13, 2009

Existential Ramblings of a Tired Occasional Blogger

We enjoy thinking of ourselves as the center of a cosmic play. Even the slightest changes in our lives seems the difference between night and day, yet to others its hardly even a blip on the screen. And this extends all the silly little events that afflict us, the fights that seem so real, the moments of utter amazement. How often do we share these with a friend, gushing with conviction, only to be met with relative indifference? How many of us really do believe we are just "average" and that most of what we do probably never will make a difference? Is it even possible? For we do not live in a world of impartial wisdom, no, we are victims of our own meager scope of reality.

So is there any hope to be found in this? Any relevant lesson to be learned? If you believe so then many hardships likely awaits you. To pull a message from this tragic reality is quite the feat. In a real sense, we do not count for much, no matter how much we would like to. Even worse though, this isolation of consciousness ensures that we will never even gain that level of pertinence to those we really do care for and cherish. Can anything be salvaged from this? That is difficult to answer. Yet there is another class of individuals, the people that do not think any lesson can be grained from this travesty. These are the ones who understand the depth of this tragedy.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Existing

To look at the sky and not understand why things are the way they are,
to hear the cries of humanity only to remain helpless in preventing the pain behind them,
to thirst for invincibility and eternity yet to break down when the slightest harm befalls our loved ones,
to seek a place in history but never truly comprehend those who came before us,
to look to the unknown and see opportunity and to be terrified by it,
to plan for greatness and settle for the unbearable,
to idealize uniqueness while trying desperately to fit in,
to hate our parents and then become them,
to know that we will not live forever,
to be forced to face who we are,
to fail and learn and forget and fail again,
to laugh then cry then laugh some more,
to be human.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Slow Bloggining

I will ironically break the "rules" of slow blogging and post about slow blogging. I think it's a great idea. Check out the "manifesto."

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Some Unedited Thoughts on Self

I think in very practical terms we are not identifiable beings but rather experiential beings. Our identities emerge from the culmination of our current and remembered being but they do not shape it. This is not to say that identities have no use, only that they are descriptions of what in many ways has already passed.

Probably a good example of this viewing a photograph. A photograph is not a person yet within the picture we can find a portion of the person. In a more accurate way a person is a film, more then a sum of the individual pictures that make it up. As we watch the film our perception of what the film is constantly changes. If we were to imagine that at some point of the film we were being introduced to a final product then a couple of scenes later we would become bewildered by what was on screen.

In many way films do use this propensity of ours to continually solidify identities precisely to become effective pieces. As we grow attached to a picture it destroys that picture with a piece of evidence far outside our expectation for how that identity should work. Even when the film is done it is nearly impossible to determine what the film was. After all, are the characters the identities they began with or the ones they ended with? If certain parts of the film were enjoyable but others revolting then what identity can we assign the film?

I don't think these questions can be answered in the solidified way that most of us would like to characterize our lives. We come to this same problem when attempting to characterize ourselves. How can we give ourselves a single identity? Not only this, but how can we give ourselves an interim characterization, one based upon our current experiences? If we are to define ourselves with all that we are now then how are we to separate this 'me' from the 'me' we defined moments before? The only way to do so would be to make the identity as fluid as the actual experiences, but this corrodes the whole function of an identity.

The problem is, if this is true then how are we to even think of other people? What possible terms could contain the amount of information to draw an accurate picture of them? Even more troubling, in the event that we could gather all the information needed what could we ever do with it? A fluid definition is not a definition but rather just another experience to pile on top of the rest.

The only solution I see is to keep all this in mind when interacting with people. Instead of defining the self of another simply understand that they will manifest themselves in various ways as time goes on. Even when watching something fluid like a movie we are able to determine fairly easily if we enjoy it or not. Although it may be possible to find a way to enjoy every movie most of us do not have the time and energy to spend on such a momentous task. This allows us to form some sort of working relationship with people and to focus on the positive aspects of them as long as we decide to stay within their company.

Of course, even our relationship is not a solid matter. This to must constantly change so as to never trap others in identities we have built for them. Still if one can retain the commitment to view their fellow in the best light this will tend to fulfill itself and work to everyone's benefit.

One question on identities remains though. How are we to identify ourselves? I think the answer to that is that we should not. It seems to our advantage to realize that any identity we create in our image will never be ourselves. Instead we should remember that everything we experience is "ourselves". Whatever our identity is it can be stretched to encompass the entire extent of our being. If momentarily our world is looking dark one has to simply realize that they do not hold a "dark" mind but instead they experiencing a dark moment. Once one stops over-identifying certain states of consciousness he can allow these feelings to pass. By embracing the natural flow of life one can save themselves much of the stress gathered from fighting against it.